Warp Section

Through middle school in the mid 80s I had a deeply cherished ritual. After a long day at school, I’d come home, plant myself in front of the TV, and watch Transformers and G.I. Joe. I never missed it if I could help it, and I can’t even explain it, except that they fired my imagination (the first long piece of fiction I wrote was G.I. Joe fanfic). They helped me forget about the mind-numbing institutional hell of school so I could get on with the rest of my life. The phrases “More than meets the eye” and “Knowing is half the battle” are emblazoned on my brain.

So you see, I really wanted to love the Transformers movie. I’m the target audience.

Now, there’s a lot I could say about it. But I won’t. Because there’s one thing about it that trumps everything else and makes the whole thing great.

It’s actually G.I. Joe vs. The Transformers. I’m convinced the captain and sergeant are really Flint and Roadblock.

And now I really, really want a live action G.I. Joe movie. IMDB offers this tantalizing tidbit.

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I was digging through some DVDs a friend had given me looking for something to watch this weekend, and what should I find but The Last Man on Earth, the first movie version of Richard Matheson’s I Am Legend, starring Vincent Price. I thought I’d report on it.

I loved this movie. It runs surprisingly close to the book (it did manage to condense the entire last half of the novel into about 15 minutes). It may not be as sophisticated as we’re used to in a modern, action-packed, special-effects laden movie world. But the images it creates are damn scary. That whole desolate city, completely abandoned, that shocked me in 28 Days Later? Nothing new there. Last Man had it down pat. I think my favorite bit is the first night we spend with Robert, played by a young and wonderfully grim Vincent Price. He pours himself a tumbler of scotch, puts on a jazz record, and sits on the sofa, listening to the vampires pound on his house, trying to get in, calling “Come out, Robert!” The scariest thing about this scene? How bored he looks — because he’s been doing this every night for three years.

The story also has a cool Twilight Zone ending that the movie makes especially poignant. (Matheson was a writer for Twilight Zone, responsible for some of its most memorable stories, like “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet.”) Highly recommended, all in all.

Now to dig up The Omega Man.

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