Warp Section

Now, if you’re really quick on the pickup, you will read the double entendre in the title of my post. (Hint: it hinges on the noun/verb duality of the last word.)

Warning: Spoilers Ahead

Part of me really enjoyed the first episode, but another, more logical part of me, was screaming in frustration. I’m going to vent that frustration, the re-suspend my disbelief and go back to watching. Honestly. Like I said, I enjoyed it enough in spite of its flaws. For your convenience, I have divided my post into “The Angry Part” and “The Happy Part.”

The Angry Part

The “What would you do” Quiz:

1. Imagine you have a gun pointed at someone you don’t trust, and you’re screaming at them not to move. Instead of not-moving, they advance on you, clicking a fountain pen. Do you:
a) shoot them in the head
b) give them a warning shot in the leg
c) back away, asking what the pen does
d) let the bad guy stab you with a lightning-shooting pen.

Apparently, these writers chose (d). If you are too stupid to shoot in this situation, I will nominate you for a Darwin Award when your charred body is sticking halfway out of the ceiling.

2. You are a 6 year old girl. A Bad Man who is not your daddy comes to pick you up from the psychiatrist. Do you:
a) Ask the man who the hell he is
b) Scream and tell the shrink the bad man is scary
c) Go willingly with the kidnapper

3. You have just discovered a magical key that is the craziest thing you’ve ever seen. Do you:
a) Get a body piercing, then chain said key to your body
b) keep it in your pocket at all times
c) Let your 6 daughter play with it as a toy

4. You are a dirty, amoral weasel. You have killed several men already for getting in your way. You have several opportunities to kill, abandon, lie to, cheat, or double-cross the naive cop who is more or less holding you hostage. Do you:
a) lie
b) cheat
c) abandon
d) double-cross
e) give your full cooperation, and then forget one of the most basic rules of the magical objects–that they don’t work in The Room–and attempt your escape at the worst possible time

5. You have just used a magical nail-file to ensorcell your murderous ex-friend. He is sleeping peacefully on the floor. Do you:
a) Try to save your partner, the man he just shot
b) leave
c) Grab the murder weapon with your bare, fingerprinty hands–remember, you are a cop–and stand over the body of your sleeping opponent long enough for his wife to come in and discover you, and then, rather than explaining yourself, run away just in time for this incriminating image to sink in completely

6. You have a magic key. It appears to take you anywhere you want. Do you:
a) Ask it to take you to your missing daughter
b) Ask it to take you to the object you need to recover your daughter
c) hopelessly entangle yourself in complex plot twists

I know this quiz is difficult. If you answered something other than the last option on any of the questions, you qualify to be a better writer for The Lost Room than the current writers.

Simply put, I realize that a good story requires conflict, but conflict does not require idiocy.

The Happy Part

Fun story, good pacing. Making it a miniseries instead of a full series lets us get a lot of action in a short period of time. Peter Krause (of Six Feet Under fame) is as good as I’d hoped. The production quality and special effects are VERY good, considering this is made for TV. Sure, if you look closely you can tell that most of the outdoor shots are green-screened, but who cares?

I like the idea of mysterious objects with random powers. I like the idea that combining them can create strange new effects. So far, it’s very fun. Hopefully the writers don’t use it as an MacGuffin to solve (and create) every problem with new objects/object combinations.

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So I’ve just started watching the new Sci-fi miniseries “The Lost Room” and I have to say I’m liking it so far. Something about the style and subject matter sent my mind wandering back to two older series that I loved as a youth.

The first one was called Nightmare Cafe. From tv.com:

“A mysterious and mystical all-night cafe gives second chances to deserving people. It’s staffed by Fay and Frank, two people who made bad choices in life and whose paths crossed with the cafe in the first episode. There’s also Blackie, another enigmatic figure who has been working with the cafe longer. Together, the three use the powers over time and space that the cafe grants them to help the worthy and punish the evil, just as they themselves have been helped.”

Powers over time and space, you say? You can see why it jumped to mind when I started watching The Lost Room.

The second one was Friday the 13th, no relation to the movies. From the prologue:

“Lewis Vendredi made a deal with the devil to sell cursed antiques. But he broke the pact, and it cost him his soul. Now, his niece Micki, and her cousin Ryan have inherited the store… and with it, the curse. Now they must get everything back and the real terror begins.”

Mysterious powerful items that the protagonists are desperate to collect, you say?

Anyway, thank god for the internet, and for my friends in the sci-fi club who helped me dredge up these old gems from descriptions ringing with eloquent quality like, “you know, that show, with the people… and they were in a restaurant that time traveled? And that other one, like the Stephen King book, but a TV series, with magic antiques?” Yeah.

By sometime tomorrow I’ll have a good review of the first episode of Lost Room. Sci-fi is showing them on heavy rotation, so if you haven’t seen the first 3 (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday), just keep watching.

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